magicisreal | Haven Inbox

That depends.

[What a sad day, when Rose who just went into the store and faced gods-know-what and made it back out with her life (perhaps not all of her sanity, though) looks more put-together and competent than her dirt-faceplant rescuers. She has a wand in one hand now, and if she could locate her druthers, its tip would be all aglow in blacklight; alas, not a druther to be found, and she can't magic over the confusion and headache.]

Are you real?

[Answer wisely, boys. Rose can't work out standing yet, but she's bluffing like hell.]

[Ha, wise.

Tsuna mumbles his answer into the ground, sullen and sore.]

... Hurt too much to be fake...

[ He sits up into a slouch and looks at Rose in confusion... but plainly, his assessment of the threat level is zero. It's Rose!! She wouldn't hurt them. ]

Um... I think so, anyway. How could we prove that to you?

[Her honest assessment of her threat level is about two, but with the potential for Morgan and Tsuna to be enemy level ten, she's trying to project about an eight. From the ground, trembling even on the arm she's using to hold herself up.

How could we prove that to you? Rose frowns, confusion and concern intruding on ferocity. Could they prove it? None of her recent hallucinations involved either of them tripping over themselves or lying there groaning.]

I don't know. [Self-aware hallucinations are a big step up on the psychoanalytical scale.]

[Self-aware hallucinations are a big step up on the Tsuna scale too. Like N*SA level, even.

He takes a deep breath, this time with less wheezing, and pushes himself up until he's seated. It's kind of hard to think when your face is in the dirt, so maybe sitting will clear his head a little.]

Oh -- I know. [He digs out a wrinkled (and slightly dirty) piece of cloth from his pocket and presents it to her.] H-here.

[ Morgan looks on curiously, having no idea what the cloth is. But he doesn't have any better proof to present, so he sits and waits for Rose's verdict. ]

What's that?

It's hers. [His eyes slide away, expression sheepish.] I was going to wash it first before giving it back, but...

I saw you die. [Hissed, through clenched teeth that only got that way because Tsuna produced a thing-passing-for-handkerchief. With neither taking advantage of her inability to rise (they're both just sitting there like it's a picnic) and both looking mildly confused, moderately breathless...she doesn't know how to process the illusion.

Later, maybe days later, she'll reach some conclusions about what they are to her, that they mattered enough to be death-illusions haunting her psyche.]

DIE?! M-m-me???

[Or did she mean Morgan...]

Not me! I haven't died for months.

[ And may it stay that way. He frowns and thinks for a moment before unhooking his sword and letting it clatter heavily to the floor. And then he digs out a tome... and another tome... from within his robe and sets them carefully aside, pushing the whole lot away. Completely unequipped now, he scoots toward her and outstretches a hand. ]

I can't hurt you... see?

Both of you.

[There's a faint ghostly "?" at the end there, one that barely breathes, and Rose's position changes so she's on both elbows, holding her head between her hands at the temples.]

I saw you die, I saw you turn on each other, turn on me, draw your sword and-

[That sword, the one right there on the ground, which does not respond to her muttering the way it did inside the store, the way it came alive and grew a faceless laugh and impaled a friend who does not live in Haven now.]

I have lost my mind.

[Pronouncements like that usually negate themselves, but Rose thinks it might be true.]

... I think I'm starting to get the picture. You were inside the store when you saw all that, weren't you?

[ He reaches to rest a hand on her shoulder. ]

[He's still somewhat confused, but he understands this much: the conbini is evil and Rose thinks she's crazy. Which is crazy of her to think in the first place because she's simply to smart to be crazy.

He leaves the physical comforting to Morgan since he's no good at that. He's no good at words either, but Rose is good at words, so if he messes up she'll just fix his words for him.]

I still don't really get it, but... those fake versions of us sound pretty bad, don't they? 'Cause we would never hurt you, Rose. And... and it's more unforgivable if we make you cry! [He scoots closer and peers at her face closely.] ... Are you crying? Don't cry, Rose...

[She nods to Morgan, jumping at the hand on her shoulder, deciding not to shake it. Rose is not crying, although she shudders like she should be, images of Morgan's fancy swordwork and Tsuna with a shotgun, then a chainsaw, then both of them becoming different people entirely, people whose weapons those really were, play across the backs of her eyelids like torrid cave paintings.

Somewhere a fire starts; somewhere else, it rains drops of sunlight.]

Crying is not unforgivable. [God, she barely manages that, and it isn't what she meant to say and stand up, damn it, Rose and none of that, none of it, is happening. Her hands move from her temples to cover her face. Still not crying. She doesn't dare.]

It's not, but making you cry is. [He's adamant about the last one.] You can cry if you need to.

[First he says don't cry and now he says cry. He'll be the first to admit he doesn't know what he's talking about AT ALL. Morgan help him before he's the one crying.]

Exactly! There's nothing wrong with letting it all out.

[ He highly advocates crying when you feel like it, in fact. He shifts onto his knees and eases her into a hug, pressing her face into his shoulder, because hugs always make things better. He's still fuzzy on the specifics, and he barely knows what's going through Rose's mind, but he doesn't need to know much to offer a friendly shoulder. ]

[Unused to these forms of comfort, or much human contact at all (still), Rose tenses and her fist closes around one very pointy wand again. It would be so easy to drive it forward, one quick motion, to quell the illusion trying to suffocate her out of existence.

But illusions, no matter how real, do not breathe, and she can feel Morgan breathing (though she isn't doing so great in that department herself). They made more sense in their words than Tsuna, who has a disarmingly incorrect way with words.

Rose does not cry, and remains unable to exact control over her intermittent tremble.]

I don't know what happened in there. [Things are still happening, she can- can see it almost, but with no way to tell what is real and what is fabricated even in the best futures.]

[ He feels her tense and tremble, even feels the muscles of her wand arm move, but only hugs her a little tighter. ]

You don't have to figure it all out right away. You're safe out here -- mostly -- and you can rest and sort it out for as long as you want back at the house. Tsuna and I will get you there, don't you worry. Right, Tsuna?

[Stuff like this (hugging, intimacy, girls) always makes him feel uncomfortably embarrassed so he looks away again, blushing lightly. He doesn't move away, however, choosing to stick closer and offer comfort however he can.]

That's right. It's what we were trying to do until, uhm, [He fell.] things happened. And anyway we don't know what happened in there either, so we can worry about it later. It's... it's in the past now.

[The fragment of Rose screaming You don't understand people are dying is easier to bury with every passing minute. Morgan is lucky he doesn't have one of the Thorns through his ribs already. Maybe the raid is over; maybe she can pretend.]

You can't erase the past that way.

[Change it, force a timeline deviation, you could do that. Here in Haven, Rose cannot. She pushes weakly away from Morgan, who is holding tight enough that she can't go anywhere as it is, turning her head so she can narrow her eyes at Tsuna.

Rose is silent, looking at him, powerless to help or change anything about what happened in the convenience store, what's happening inside her head.]

[ Morgan lets her go when she pushes, but continues to kneel in front of her. ]

You can't erase it, no. And you shouldn't want to, either. Memories are important, no matter how painful they are! But they're in the past by definition -- and we're in the present now.

[ An oversimplification to most people, but to Morgan, it's a way of life. ]

[Tsuna nods, looking her squarely in the eyes. Polygonal-y, perhaps. Squares are too precise for someone like him.]

You don't need to erase it. If we erased the past, we wouldn't be who we are today, and I like us the way we are. [Then he adds, with a nervous note in his voice:] And I really like that we're all alive. Right now.

[So let's stay that way.]

[They echo her words and she's ready to fire; they come up with their own, alternate to her thinking, and she puts the wand down again. All the way down, as it happens, on the ground so she can hold her head between her hands again. Others are not so alive. She saw them die. Here they are trying to take her somewhere. Somewhere real?

The blackness is gone, for all she opened her arms to it in that unseen moment. There is only Rose to determine the truth.]

Until I can tell reality from hallucination, I am likely to try to hurt you. [Refuge in bleak honesty is no refuge at all. She shouldn't be so rattled. Rose Lalonde is better than that!]

[ He stands slowly and again offers his hand, just in case she's willing to take it. ]

Then we won't provoke you with any sudden moves. And even if you try, my resistance is nothing to sneeze at, ha!

[ Tactician genes. ]

[Taking cue from Morgan, Tsuna stands and holds out his hand. Two is better than one, and technically they could have gone with four, but that's a little weird.]

I don't mind, if it's you.

[A small lie. He does mind. A bit.

Juuuust a bit, but who likes pain anyway?]

Let's go home, Rose.

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